Thoughtful Me!

These are just my thoughts so feel free to get to know what's going on in my head & know me through my thoughts!

Friday, July 24, 2015

Friday Night Encouragement

I just want to encourage every single person reading this blog. I know sometimes you may feel like no one sees you. Maybe you don’t feel that way, maybe it’s just me then lol Saved, pretty, curvy, accomplished, career driven, put together, responsible, I don’t run the streets, I don’t club, I don’t have “baby daddy” drama at all… Sometimes that’s not good enough for some people. Maybe they want someone with no children, skinnier, uglier, who knows. What I know and what I accepted a long time ago is that somebody somewhere is praying for me and when God unveils me to him he will know that I am his ONE!

Think of the story of Jessse’s sons…

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The Lord has not chosen this one either.” Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the Lord chosen this one.” 10 Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The Lord has not chosen these.” 11 So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”
“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”
Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”
12 So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.
Then the Lord said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.”

No one was even thinking about David. They had already counted him out, overlooked, an after thought, not even an option. Baby if this doesn’t encourage you this Friday evening I don’t know what will. If you're home alone and everyone else is boo-ed up or at the club you are in good company. You don’t have to be a THOT to be a thought. God created you and He knows what He is doing. He keeps His treasures hidden. You are not for everybody. Everyone is not going to see the greatness inside of you. Everyone is not going to even look at you that way but baby when the right man/woman does oowwee… He will not hesitate. He will persue you, He will court you, He will call you and not just text you lol!

Trust me, I’m tired of waiting too but in the mean time and in between time I’ve got two babies at home I need to take care of and that’s where my focus needs to be. If you have children at home, stop running the streets. If that man is looking for a wife and a mother to his children he is not looking in a club trust me, Rise and Reign Beautiful you're worth the wait!!!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Better not bitter

When I think of the goodness of Jesus and all that He's done for me...

If you ask me, there has never been a truer statement. Five years ago I was in my third trimester pregnant with my second child. When I was three months pregnant her father left. No explanation, no goodbye. He was gone... At that time myspace was the new social media and I has got a message from Mary Elizabeth Stone. Her profile picture is a picture of the father of my child holding her wearing the gloves I had just got for him the day before. In her message she described their relationship and in detail explained to me how they would be raising my child and how my child would be calling her mommy. I'd also have meetings with my pastors wife (his mother) and sermon after sermon they'd both preach at me from across the pulpit. At first I held on to the hope that since I hadn't heard from him directly that maybe he'd come around. Just maybe.

I safely made it out of my first trimester after being told I may not carry full term. Barely made it out of my second trimester and now on partial bed rest in my third trimester. He finally calls and asks the sex of the baby. Calls again to ask my due date. Calls again after she's born to ask who she looks like and if she has all of her fingers and toes.
Fast forward - My daughter is now almost one years old. New church, new life, new phone number and I'm dating someone new. Then I get a message on Facebook. They're suing me for partial custody. After I calm down and do my research, he's filed the papers but hasn't had me served yet. How do you file for custody for a child you've never met? He didn't show up to her birth, her baby dedication, or her first birthday party. So I make a counterclaim and have him served. Then he starts stalking me. So on top of a custody battle there is now a order for protection. He shows up to the court date for the long term restraining order but not for the custody case. I agree to one over night supervised visit a week. After he hadn't complied for a year I took him back to court and now I have full physical and legal custody.
Angry wouldn't even describe the way I felt. I was abandoned, rejected, ashamed and hurt beyond measure. Not just by the father of my child but by my pastors and at that time my mentor. I was very wreck less with my mouth and even had the nerve to use scriptures to defend myself. That was how I dealt with it for a very long time but eventually after a lot of stumbling blocks and scraped knees (figuratively speaking), I surrendered my need to be right. My need to be vindicated. My need to be heard. my need to be loved and affirmed. I had to deal with me. I had to love me. I HAD TO GET PRIDE OUT OF THE WAY. I had to get me right and with God's limitless and matchless love I did indeed.
I am FREE! REDEEMED! Made whole in His image and in His likeness! He has made all things NEW! Thank God I am not who I used to be. He took me as I was. Two kids. Two different fathers and He loves me regardless. He is Sovereign. That even in my worst state He did not change His mind about me. But He called by my name and made me HIS! What a joy divine to know that He loves me in a way that no man ever has. That He just wants ME! Who wouldn't surrender to that kind of love?
There is truly Glory on the other side of abandonment, rejection, pride and shame. I am living proof and I am because He IS! He is my worship, He is my praise and no one compares to my God! He is my Hope. When I think about the goodness of Jesus and that He's done for me... I will bless His name with my WHOLE  heart and declare His works in the earth.
Child of God, do not allow bitterness to take root and keep you from all that He has for you today. Pride goes before destruction and a haughtiness before a fall. Don't self destruct. The only person stopping you is you. Your enemy is your inner me. Be blessed, be forgiven, just be!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

You are the God who sees me

"You are the God who sees me," for she said, " I have now seen the One who sees me." That is what Hagar said to the angel of the Lord who found her near a spring in the desert beside the road to Shur in Genesis Chapter 16. 

If you are a single mother I want to encourage you and remind you that God is not slack concerning His promise! That He Sees YOU! 

There have been times on this journey of being a single mother that I have wanted to RUN. A time where I did. Admittedly I like Hagar at one time or another bought mistreatment upon myself by my actions towards others.  I ran away and left the church only to go back. See, I was already a single mother. My son at that time was only two and I had only been living on my own separate from his father for six months. I was in the church, went to every service, sang in the choir,  attended women's meetings, helped out in ministry and now pregnant with my second child. Two children, two baby's fathers, and my unborn child's father disappeared one day & never came back. His parents were my Pastors at the time. 

I remember being at the altar and crying out to God, "I can't do this by myself!" He gave me His Word and His promise to me was Philippians 4:19, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." So I told the Lord Yes I will have this baby. 

He knows exactly what each of us go through. He sees you trying to make sense of it all. Trying to make ends meet. He sees your hurt, your pain, your disappointment and your worry but Fear Not! Provision has already been made!

I have seen the One who sees me. I see Him every day I go to work. Every time a bill gets paid. Every time my children have food to eat and clothes on their back. God has always provided for them both. They have never lacked. I have been beyond blessed to continue to maintain my job through this entire journey. Blessed that I pay my own rent, daycare, medical, shelter costs, car payment and insurance. He has kept His promise and has remained FAITHFUL! 

It doesn't matter if that man is in your child's life or not. If he pays his child support or not. God is a Father to the fatherless. So Seek the Kingdom of God above all else , and live righteously , and he will give you everything you need (Matt 6:33). When he sees your child He doesn't see a mistake. He sees the great nation that child is about to be just as He did Ishmael. It doesn't matter how that child was bought in to this world EVERY child is a GIFT from God!

God's Got Me Covered

It's so so amazing how you can read the same story in the Bible fifty times and always get something new out of it each time. I was reading the story of Adam and Eve the other day and this particular scripture amazed me and knocked me off of my feet and it reads, "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." WOW!
He dealt with the who, what, when, where, how and why and then He COVERED them! He even put a mark on Cain after he killed Abel so that if he were found no would kill him. They did what we so often do and, "lived in the moment." Then they tried to cover it up by sewing together fig leaves and Cain pretending that he didn't know where his brother Abel was. Now as a consequence of that they were sent away. Even after everything they did He didn't allow them to walk in shame. Humiliation. Embarrassment. Condemnation. He COVERED them. 
There are times in life when you may feel like you've done the unforgivable and you're too ashamed to come before God but there is nothing that you have done that He won't pardon. You may have to live with the consequences but you WILL be forgiven and He will COVER you all the days of your life!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Prayer & PRAISE...

So often we pray for this & we pray for that but someone asked a question...
Are your prayers waiting for your praise to catch up?

     Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition ([a]definite requests), WITH THANKSGIVING, continue to make your wants known to God. Philipians 4:6

     Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer [life], being [both] alert and intent in [your praying]WITH THANKSGIVING. Colossians 4:2

Your praise defeats the enemy. It cancels out worry- Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything. Be earnest and unwearied. When you praise Him you acknowledge who He is. You acknowledge that He is Jehovah Rapha- My Healer. Jehovah Jireh- My Provider. El Elyon- The Most High God. Jehovah Rohi- My Shepard. He is I AM!

Who is God to you? What has He done for you? Just what is it that He has bought you out of?  Hasn't He always been faithful to you? Are you not worth much more than the birds in the air? Has he not given you authority to tread on serpents & scorpions, & over all the power of the enemy, & promised you that nothing will injure you?

When you pray His word to Him whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. When you praise Him you are coming in to agreement with who He is. You are saying the great Amen. God's Yes & your Yes together. When you praise Him you're saying God I trust you. God I believe you. God I want you. Glory to Your name God, I bless Your name God because it's already done.

What you tell me to do, I'll do. What you tell me to say, I'll say. What you tell me to give, I'll give. 'Cause I've never seen the righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging bread. 'Cause I know that He does't always give me what I want but He gives me what I need. Cause I know it might not come when I want but it's always on time!

I promise you that if you would just Bless Him. If you would just Praise Him, you'll forget all about what you came to ask Him for. If you would just worship & thank Him for what He's already done He will do exceedingly & abundantly more than you could ever think to ask Him for. Praise Him Saints. Your mouth is your greatest weapon. You have the power to speak life or death so speak. Speak those things the are not as though they were. Give Him your right now praise. Praise Him cause He is the Great I Am!

When Paul & Silas were chained in the jail they didn't pray. They didn't go through the trouble to tell God what He already knew. They worshipped Him! They blessed Him in song. In praise. They didn't worry. They didn't fret. So what's stopping you from praising God?  The chains didn't stop them. It didn't discourage them. It was their praise that caused God to move. Their praise that prompted the earthquake that broke their chains.  They weren't affected by the prison they were in. So what's keeping you chained down & in prison? I dare you to praise Him. Praise God who is bigger, stronger, & greater than your situation. Create an atmosphere for God by your praise. Give Him the highest praise. Give Him your most defensive praise. Give Him all your praise cause He is worthy of it ALL!


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Praise Your Way Through

     "After beating them black and blue, they threw them into jail, telling the jailkeeper to put them under heavy guard so there would be no chance of escape. He did just that-threw them into the maximum security cell in the jail and clamped leg irons on them."  Acts 16:23-24 MSG

Have you ever felt like that? Do you feel like that? Like, it's not enough that you've been beaten black & blue but now you're locked up under maximum security with your legs chained down by iron clamps...

So when you feel like this what do you do?Do you cry, kick, sceam? Do you say woe is me... Let's look at what Paul & Silas did-

       "Along about midnight, Paul and Silas were at prayer and singing a robust hymn to God. The other prisoners couldn't believe their ears. Then, without warning, a huge earthquake! The jailhouse tottered, every door flew open, all the prisoners were loose."  Acts 16:25-26 MSG

So often we hear that our breakthrough depends on our praise & here in the scripture we know that to be true. See, Paul & Silas knew that God was Greater, Bigger, & Stronger than their circumstance! Paul & Silas knew what Job knew that,"though they slay me, yet will I trust Him! That even though they talk about me, I'm still going to trust Him. Even in the fiery furnace, I'm still going to trust Him. They lied on me but I'm still going to trust Him. Turned their backs on me but I'm still going to trust Him.

God knows the end result. He Authored it. So I'm going to sing. I'm going to shout. I'm going to dance. I'm going to Praise. Paul & Silas didn't wait for the earthquake to Praise God & see their shackles be broken. They didn't wait for God to bring them out, they Praised Him while they were yet in their prison cell. It was their Praise that caused the earthquake (it caused God to move on their behalf) & their shackles were broken. Their Praise unlocked the iron clamps. What are you doing in your prison cell?  You see-

     "Beloved, do not be amazed and bewildered at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test your quality, as though something strange (unusual and alien to you and your position) were befalling you. But insofar as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, rejoice, so that when His glory [full of radiance and splendor] is revealed, you may also rejoice with triumph [exultantly]. If you are censured and suffer abuse [because you bear] the name of Christ, blessed [are you--happy, fortunate, to be envied, with life-joy, and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of your outward condition], because the Spirit of glory, the Spirit of God, is resting upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. But if [one is ill-treated and suffers] as a Christian [which he is contemptuously called], let him not be ashamed, but give glory to God that he is [deemed worthy to suffer] in this name.  1 Peter 4:12-14, 16 AMP

The devil is not in hot pursuit of you for no reason. He comes to steal, kill, & destroy. He wants that gift you have. He doesn't want to see it manifest. He's come to rob you of your destiny and purpose. He's come to keep you down & knock you off of your feet so you've got to be on your guard, standing firm in the faith. You've got to be courageous & strong in the Lord. They talked about Jesus. They betrayed even Him. God has made provision. He's provided a way of escape.

  "but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken." 2 Cor 4:9

So shout & sing! Let Jehovah's Praises ring! Loose yourself. He has not given you a spirit of fear but of love, power, & a sound mind! Praise Him

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


I've been thinking a lot about childbirth for a few weeks now but in a Spiritual sense-

Some of us are in pre mature labor. You're saying "God I can't take it anymore... I just want it to be over... I don't even know why I bother anymore..." But baby just hold on. It's not time yet. You've got to stay the course & stay in the oven just a little while longer...

     "But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect & entire, wanting nothing." James 1:4

Some of you are experiencing false labor. The pain that you're feeling is just Braxton Hicks contractions. You are showing signs of being in labor when they are really just early signs that the process has begun. 

     "These trials will show that your faith is genuwine. It is being testd as fire tests & purifies gold- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise & glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:7 

Some of you are ready. You're fully effaced. Fully dilated. I want to encourage you that whatecer it is that you are going through in this season- It's time to push!

When your friends & family turn their backs on you... PUSH!

When the  people you thought were going to be around forever are no where to be found... PUSH!

When your money runs out... PUSH!

When your bills are due... PUSH!

God I just lost my job... PUSH!

Now is not the time to give up. I know sometimes the pain is unbearable but PUSH! I know you tired of being tired but PUSH!

     "Christ's POWER is made perfect in our weakness" 2 Cor 12:9

When I can't see my way through Lord I'm going to PUSH! They said I wasn't going to make it, Lord I'm going to PUSH! They said I'd never amount to anything, LORD I'm going to PUSH! They said I'd be just like my mother, just like my Father but Lord I'm going to PUSH!

Satan, I ain't got nothing left to lose. I ain't scared! You can't punk my Faith ( borrowed from Co Pastor T)! For God I live & for God I die! I'm coming OUT! I can see what's ahead. A land flowing with milk & honey Hallelujah! I can already taste the VICTORY...I'm coming OUT!

     "And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ (right up to the time of His return), developing (that good work) and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. Phillipians 1:6

Child of God... It's already done! Count it all Joy because what the devil meant for bad, God worked it out for your GOOD! Isn't He a Good God. Hasn't He always been faithful! Yes He has!